


You've been lonely too long.

by olicityarrow23



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Gen, Heartbreak, Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-30
Updated: 2014-11-23
Packaged: 2018-01-21 09:02:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1545170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/olicityarrow23/pseuds/olicityarrow23
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Collection of one shots...<br/>Chapter 1: 2x20 Felicity finds Oliver in the lair.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. You are not alone

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own arrow or its characters.
> 
>    
> This is gonna be where I post any little stories that I decide to write. Not sure how often I will post, as I am a beginner writer, but I will try my hardest :) Im open to prompts 
> 
> tumblr - olicityarrow23  
> twitter- @olicityarrow23
> 
> Thanks  
> 

Felicity was sat in the Foundry, it was her safe haven, her home, her life. Despite the darkness of the lair, this was her happy place, her escape, her power. This place is where she finally felt like she belonged, for the first time she was needed and appreciated for both her skills and herself. Digg's words playing through her head. 'because you're irreplaceable.' He was the big brother she never knew she wanted, but was soo thrilled to have been granted the fortune of him entering her life. So deep in thought she didn't hear the door open or the footsteps on the stairs. What she did notice was that he was here, she always knew when he was, there was no explanation for it, she just knew. And she was pretty sure he did aswell, but then again he had his freaky ninja skills. 

She spun her chair around slowly, taking in the scene. He was wearing his jeans and a sweater, for anyone else he would look normal, wearing these clothes, but to her she knew they were hurting him, but that he needed the reminder. These were his clothes. Ollie Queen, son and brother. Only worn when he didn't need to present a different front. Green Leather for the Arrow. Suit and tie for the CEO. Cargo pants sans shirt for Oliver. But these, these were anything but ordinary. These held the burden of multiple failed relationships, a sister who may never forgive him for lies, and two dead parents, both of which were killed infront of him. Felicity knew that this was his way of dealing, making the pain clear, tormenting himself, blaming himself, hating himself. She could see it written over his grief-ridden face. 

She took two steps forward so that she was a meter from him, still not wanting to make contact. He lifted his head staring straight at her, the intensity of emotion behind his eyes shattered her heart. She wanted to take some if his pain, anything to make it easier, but she knew it was impossible. But it would not stop her from trying. She hadn't heard his voice in hours, and she was begining to feel like she never would. 

"Oliver" She wasn't going to say she was sorry, she knew it wouldn't help, nothing she could say would make it better, so she poured everything she was feeling into his name, so full of emotion, it caused him to speak for the first time, knowing that he was safe here, safe with her. 

"Gone. She's gone." He sounded so lost, a son who had lost his mother, a young boy suffering in a way that should not be possible. 

"I know" She didn't say anything more, she could see he was struggling to find his next words. 

"Mom's not coming back. How can she be gone?" His eyes held so much pain, his body was rigid, forefingers and thumb brushing against each other, one of his few telltale signs of discomfort, or unease. One that she noticed almost instantly, the sight of it caused a couple of unshed tears to fall. Silently cursing herself she held the rest in. 

"I know. We're still here Oliver, we're here." 

"Sara's gone. She. She left me." He sounded empty, broken. She couldn't take it anymore, she reached out and took his hand, leading him to the couch, sitting them down so she could wrap her arms around him. He sank into her, head against her chest, cradled in her arms with his head under her chin. Her hand was gently massaging her scalp, although she was unaware she was doing it. 

"They're all gone. Makenna. Dad. Laurel. Shado. Sara. Tommy. Thea. Mom. They all left. Gone." He was crying now. Each one word was like a bullet to the chest, knocking the wind out of him as he said them. Each person having left him, either physically or mentally. He finally gave in, letting the tears fall, his whole body shook, causing Felicity to hold him tighter, letting him get it out. He needed to. They sat in silence for what felt like hours, but was only really minutes. Her own tears falling silently into his hair, his body stopped shaking, but his tears continued to fall. She thought he has finally passed out with exhaustion until she heard his voice one last time.

"Please. Please don't leave me. Don't leave me Felicity." With those desperate last words she felt his body relax against hers, he was finally asleep. Her own tears continued to fall as she held him tighter than ever while he slept, scared that if she let him go, it would be the last time she would see him.

"Never. I promise" she whispered before her eyes fell shut.


	2. Wont you stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver telling Felicity he can't be with her.

The silence was deafening. Never in her entire time here, had the foundry been so still, and unmoving. She knew what was coming, she just didn’t think she was ready for it. The look in Oliver’s eyes was one she had never seen before and one she wishes she had never seen. A mixture of guilt and pain but surrounded by love. Felicity was unsure how much time had passed since the other team members had left, all that existed since then was the look in his eyes, and the silent conversation that neither of them wanted to voice. She was still deciding which approach to take, fight or flight. Normally with Oliver she would fight, and almost always come out on top, but this time… this time she knew she was fighting a losing battle. There was no changing his mind. She saw the movement of his left hand, and took a deep breath, knowing what was about to come.

Oliver could tell by the look on her face that she was preparing for his words. She knew what was coming, and it tore his heart just that little bit more. He was stalling, he knew he was. How do you prepare for the worst moment of your life, no matter how necessary it is? He continued to stare into her eyes, just wishing that he had a normal life, a life in which he could always be by her side. He knew he had to do this now, or else he never would. Tearing his heart apart that little bit more, he took a deep breath, conscious of the fact that his thumb and forefingers hadn’t stopped moving, his nervous tick, the only sign of his inner struggle, and closed his eyes. 

‘Felicity...’ His voice so quiet, barely a whisper, sounded like a gunshot in the deserted lair. Their eyes connected once again, now or never he thought. ‘This-’ He gestured between the two of them, whilst trying to find the words. ‘This can’t happen-’ was all that he managed before his throat clogged up, and the reality of what he was doing truly hit him. 

Felicity broke the connection between them, looking towards her desk, she knew it was coming but it still hit her like a stab to the heart. The worst part was seeing how much he didn’t want to do it, could she actually convince him? Now she was unsure. Originally she thought that there was no hope, no chance, maybe she was wrong. Would this bit of hope fully shatter her heart when the inevitable happened? Knowing she couldn’t stand the pain of getting her hopes up she stayed silent. Waiting for him to speak again. She looked and what she saw took her by surprise. A single tear had escaped and was making it’s way down Oliver’s cheek. 

He knew that he hadn’t managed to hold his tears in, but he couldn’t bring himself to wipe it away. Needing something to ground him, remind him of why he was doing this in the first place.   
‘I thought that now the city was under our control, was rebuilding itself, that maybe… I could actually have my life back.’ He took a breath knowing that the words were going to flow now, looked into her eyes and continued. ‘I thought that maybe after all these years, these years of fighting, of hiding away, of not knowing if i’d come back alive, of fearing of losing everything, that maybe things were starting to look up, that maybe I could have more. That I deserved more. I was wrong.’ 

His voice was full of emotion now, and their tears making it harder for him to carry on. Both of them crying silently but never once looking away.   
‘As long as I’m alive and wearing that Hood, this is all that I can be. Oliver Queen can not exist whilst I have that Hood. All I am now is that Hood. The symbol that this city needs in order to survive. The city comes first, before everything. This city needs the Arrow. Oliver Queen isn’t important. Oliver Queen died on that Island. He doesn’t exist anymore. He’s gone.’

No more words came to him, he couldn’t take anymore. He had done it. He had gotten through it, but his heart had not, neither had Felicity’s. 

‘I love you, Felicity Meghan Smoak. My Girl Wednesday. And that’s why I have to do this, I can’t do this to you. I can’t let your light be dimmed because of me. I won’t do that to you. If you want to leave I understand, hell I advise it, the further away from me you are the safer you will be, but I won’t force you from your home. You didn’t do anything to deserve having me ruin your life.’

Felicity was frozen, she knew how he felt, she knew he loved her, from the whole Slade situation. He had never been able to lie to her no matter how hard he tried. But hearing him spill his soul to her, was too much to take. To finally have the words she had dreamt of hearing only to have them taken away in the same minute. It wasn’t fair. But her life had never been fair, and she had come to accept it. Time to move on she told herself. Her Oliver was gone, she had lost him, even though he said that would never happen. 

‘You matter. You changed my life, you gave me back the purpose I lost when I was a little girl, and I will forever be grateful for that. You’re my Partner, my best friend, the man I love.’ She took a deep breath, trying to gather up the courage to finally move from the spot she was standing on. She looked around at the place she had come to call her home, and finally back to him. ‘But this person...’ she waved her hands at him, ‘this man in front of me, is not the man that I know.’ She picked up her bag, shut down her computers and turned to face him once again. He hadn’t moved. His eyes closed as if he couldn’t bare to see her leave. ‘I will always love you, Oliver. And this will always be my home. But I’m gonna take some time off, I think we both need the space. Goodbye, Oliver.’ As she walked past their hands brushed sending the all too familiar sparks through them both. Felicity carried on walking, and Oliver made no move to stop her. 

The sound of the door closing and locking was the final straw that broke Oliver, his knees buckled and he fell the the floor, finding a support against the wall at the last second. He didn’t move, not for a long time, just sat staring at nothing, tears still streaking over his cheeks and onto his leather jacket. 

‘I’m sorry.’ He whispered, knowing no one was there to hear him, and for the first time in two years, he truly felt alone. 

Diggle found him the next morning slumped against the wall, eyes red raw, knuckles bloodied from where he has obviously repeated hit the wall. And he knew. He knew that his friends would never be the same again. He knew that the Team Arrow that had come to be his family, was broken.


	3. 3x09 Drabble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on the description of 3x09

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this popped into my head after reading the description for 3x09. I cried alot whilst writing it, read at your own risk. Contains spoilers.
> 
> May contain mistakes. Sorry about that.

24 hours down and they still hadn’t gotten anywhere. The toll of everything was weighing down on them. Every member of the team was struggling to keep going. The failure to come up with results. The lack of sleep. The gut wrenching feeling of loss all over again, it was becoming unbearable. 

For John, the soldier, the brother in arms, the father, he has never felt so useless in his life. He always had a plan, always found a way, but now… now he was stuck, he had no knowledge of how to help, he had nothing. Baby Sara gazed up at him with a beautiful smile upon her face, he felt that smile down to his toes and it warmed his heart, filled it with joy. She was his light. A reminder of his friend, and why he does what he does. He miss his friend dearly, wished he could honour her by finding her killer. But he kept coming up short. They all did. Every member of the team affected by the loss of their friend. Now more than ever. Even Roy.

He knew she hadn’t always agreed with him, hell even liked him, but that was back when he was the mirakuru version of himself. Once he had been cured, he and Sara had become allies, friends even, many long nights talking through the comms whilst on patrol. Keeping Starling City safe, just like he had always wanted to, except now he had a team. A family. He loved hearing Sara talking about her travels, and how happy she was when she thought of what she had in her life, what she could now enjoy with her family, now that they knew who she really was. 

It made him feel hopeful. He missed her. He missed the normalcy that Sara brought into his life. He missed the fun, upbeat atmosphere of the lair which disappeared when she died. Nothing was the same anymore, hell Oliver Queen was his best friend. His brother. And Felicity… she was the sister he never knew he wanted, but was very glad to have in his life. He would do anything for her, anything to protect her. That is why he was trying as hard as he could, to connect the dots, to find clues, to break the riddle of who killed Sara. But he was failing, and that, that was killing him. 

For Oliver, he felt as though he had failed Sara all over again. He ruined her life by taking her on the Gambit, he had accepted the guilt of that decision long ago, the weight of that choice permanently rested on his shoulders. But then by some miracle he had got her back, she had survived just like he had, she was damaged just like he was. But he had his friend back, and some of that guilt was lifted, he felt as though he could breathe a little easier. He had ruined her life in the worse possible way with a childish and selfish decision, but she had made the best of her situation and come out happier than she had ever been. And Oliver, well he had finally started to forgive himself for his younger self’s actions. 

That was until she died. And he had the wrath of the league raining down on him. He was back to square one. Being to blame for her death. If it wasn’t for him she would still be alive. She wouldn’t have been caught up in all of this. She never would have known anything about this life. Would have been blissfully ignorant to it all. And the weight of his decision all those years ago was weighing him down again, but worse than before, because he was still failing her. He hadn’t found her killer. It looked as though he never would. At least not in the 24 hours he had left. And that left only one option. An option that he never wanted to take, he knows it will destroy him, he knows his heart won't be able to take it. But he would do it anyway. He didn’t have a choice.

Usually Felicity loved a challenge, craved it even, but this one? This one she didn’t want. She would do anything to not be in this situation, but she didn’t have a choice. Everything depended on her being able to solve this mystery. Everything. But still, she couldn’t do it. She was letting Sara down. Her one female companion. Her friend. And she hated herself for it. Why couldn’t she find Sara’s killer? Why? Every failed attempt, every dead end was like a bullet to the heart. A bullet similar to the one she took for Sara. One she would gladly take for Sara to be here with her again. 

She didn’t care that she hadn’t shown up to work in two days, or that she hadn’t returned any of Ray’s phone calls, just turned her phone off and left it at her apartment, using the team comms to communicate when necessary. She couldn’t deal with Ray right now, and add that problem on top of everything else, he had been wonderful to her ever since their kiss, and she wasn’t sure how to feel about that, wasn’t sure how she felt about him. Because truthfully her heart was still in this basement, willingly enduring all the pain that had been inflicted upon it. Maybe if she could find Sara’s killer she would be able to move on. Maybe that closure would allow her to open up again and move on with her life. 

‘Please… Please just let me find something. Give me something.’ She whispered into the silence. Oliver, Roy and Dig all out trying to find anything they could to do with Sara’s killer. 

‘Please.’ Her voice broke as a sob escaped her. 

1 hour left and they still had nothing. He had failed, again. They were coming for him, and there was no escaping them. He looked to Roy, the boy who had changed so much in the last year, had become so much more than Oliver ever imagined he would, meant more to him than he ever thought possible. He just hoped that the kid would continue to feel worthy once he was gone. Would continue to believe in himself, and protect the city. He felt awful for leaving when he said he wasn’t going to abandon the kid, he had truly meant it, but he had to in order to keep him safe.

His gaze moved over to Diggle. The gravity of what he was about to do, hitting him like a ton of bricks. His friend, his brother looked back at him with a silent understanding surrounded with pain and despair. The conversation going unsaid between them but still both knew what the other was thinking. Diggle had become his best friend since Tommy. And the pain of leaving him behind was too similar to what he felt seeing Tommy die in front of him. 

He closed his eyes, letting a tear fall in the process. A mixture of grief for his lifelong friend and love for the man stood in front of him. Diggle had saved him in more ways than one, he was wrong when he told him that he didn’t need anyone to save him, and he was beyond thankful that John hadn’t accepted any of his bullshit back then. But now it was Oliver’s turn to save him. To give him the chance at having a normal life with his family. To set him free of the darkness that he brought him into. With a final nod at Oliver and a warm hand on the shoulder, Dig stepped past Oliver, signalled for Roy to follow him and made his way toward the exit of the lair. Dig turned back to look at Oliver once more, both men struggling to keep their emotions in check. 

It was hard enough saying goodbye to Dig without actually saying the words, he didn’t know how he was going to make it through the next conversation.

She failed. It’s too late. She failed. Felicity looked at herself in the mirror of the bathroom in the lair, how did this become her life? How had this become the only thing she cared about? How had it all gone so horribly wrong? She is the best at what she does, and she had failed. She failed Sara. She failed Roy. She failed Dig. She failed Oliver. Looking away from her reflection she walked back into the lair, only to find that Dig and Roy had left. And Oliver standing in the middle of the room, not really seeing, just staring off into the distance. From her spot across the room she could see that he had been crying. It broke her heart. To see her best friend, the man who is usually so strong, to see him broken, it broke her too. 

‘Oliver. I’m sorry.’ Her voice was croaky, but he heard her anyway.

‘It’s not your fault, Felicity. You didn’t cause this.’ 

‘I failed at the one job I’m meant to be good at.’ It came out as a whisper. 

He turned to face her completely, and the devastated look on her face, made the crack in his heart bigger. ‘Felicity. Look at me.’ His voice was soft and wavered a little when he said her name. She took a deep breath, when he eyes met his everything stopped, both of them knowing that this was it. 

‘I failed. Not you. Okay? This is all happening because of a choice I made. You are remarkable, the best at what you do. You’re beautiful, and you deserve everything in the world-’

‘-Oliver, please don’t do this.’ She was crying now, not even bothering to wipe the tears away she begged him.

‘I have to.’

‘No you don’t, please.’

‘I don’t have a choice, Felicity. I can’t let him hurt everyone I love.’ He was losing control of his emotions, his walls were breaking, and he couldn’t afford for that to happen.

‘You can fight Oliver, we have always fought.’

‘There is no fighting the league Felicity. Ra’s Al Ghul will not stop until everyone I love is dead. There’s no way for me to beat him, and I cannot live in a world without you in it Felicity. It’s not an option.’

‘But leaving me is?’ 

‘I don’t want to. Believe me, leaving you is the hardest part. It’s ripping me apart but I have to. So that you can live your life. Be happy.’ The tears he was holding in finally broke free. He knew he was hurting her, he promised her she would never lose him, and here he was leaving her just like her father, he hated himself. Hurting her was worse than stabbing himself through the chest with an arrow,

‘How can I be happy without you?’ Her voice was so quiet, he nearly missed what she said. His heart was beating impossibly fast, and he wasn’t aware how close they had become, but now, they were just a meter apart, and still it felt like a mile away.

‘You have to, Felicity, live your life, fulfill your dreams. Just like I always knew you would’ Oliver had never found it so difficult to talk. 

‘Oliver. Please don’t do this. Don’t leave me’

The pain was becoming too much, his control had vanished and all that remained was the raw emotion of Oliver Queen, something that hadn’t been unleashed in a really long time. 

‘Don’t you get it Felicity! He will kill you. Painfully. Slowly. And I won’t be able to stop him. All because I LOVE YOU DAMMIT!’ he finally broke, his tears streaming down his face, he looked away from her, needing to be able to breathe again. 

‘Yeah well I love you Oliver. I won’t accept you doing this for me! You can’t ruin your life for me!’ 

His head snapped up so fast she was scared that he had broken it. Time froze as their eyes connected. Her heart skipped a beat at the look of pure desire in his eyes. 

‘What?’ He whispered, unsure that he heard her correctly. Needing her to say it again. 

‘I love you, Oliver.’ She repeated. 

He closed the distance between them, capturing her lips with his in a searing kiss, nothing like their first. This was an act of desperation, filled with love and desire. He stroked her cheeks with his thumbs feeling the wetness from the tears, he just didn’t know if they were hers or his. 

He pulled away from her, keeping his forehead rested on hers. Unsure of how much time had actually passed, he opened his eyes and looked at her beautiful face one last time.   
‘Come back to me’ She whispered, taking him by surprise. He hadn’t expected her to accept his decision. She looked away from him, and stared at the glass case that held his bow.

‘I will fight with everything I have to come back to you Felicity. But that could be years, don’t wait for me. I will always love you, but I need you to live your live Felicity. Promise me.’ She turned back towards him, beautiful blue eyes, filled with tears, mirroring his own. 

‘Promise me, Felicity.’ He repeated, taking her face in his hands, cradling her, fearing to let her go. 

His time was up, Nyssa and her father were here to take him. He leaned in to kiss her one last time, slowly, memorising everything about her, in fear that he would never set eyes on her ever again. He poured his heart into the kiss, hoping she would feel just how much he loved her. Wrapping his arms around her in a crushing embrace. Kissing the top of her head and turning to walk away. 

He reached the top of the stairs when he heard her speak one last time.

‘I love you Oliver. I promise.’ 

The door shut behind him. The final cut to his heart, that was now completely torn in half. The click of the electronic lock defeated him, as his legs gave out and he fell back against the wall. Sliding down to the floor, head in his hands, tears streaming freely down his face. For the first time in forever, Oliver Queen let himself feel. 

‘Time to go’ Nyssa said from the entrance to Verdant. He pulled himself up, wiped his face, and followed her out of the door. Not once looking back.

Felicity watched through the camera as Oliver left the club behind Nyssa. She sank back into her chair and cried for the life that she could of had as she watched the man she loved walk into his almost certain death.


	4. One last time and into the darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Felicity and Oliver spend their last night together before Oliver has to give himself up to Ras Al Ghul?' - Prompt by olicityalways. 
> 
> Thanks Val for this one. :) <3

Ra’s Al Ghul’s ultimatum had left him stumped. The trail for Sara’s killer had gone cold a long time ago. 48 hours was not enough time. They all knew it. Oliver knew it. With every minute that passed he was become more agitated, jumping at every noise that was louder than the steady bass rhythm coming from the club above. He couldn’t take it anymore. The waiting. Wondering when he would come for him. How he would come for him. Honestly, he had never been more terrified in his life. 

Felicity entered the foundry, bag on shoulder, tablet in hand, swiping away at images on the screen, eyes flicking impossibly fast over whatever data it was that she was looking at. When she reached her desk she didn’t even bother to load up the computers, she dropped her bag to the floor, gently placed the tablet on the table and flung herself down into her chair, letting out a loud sigh as she landed. 

‘Nothing!’ She exclaimed. Once again the decibel of her voice causing Oliver to jump from his position in the arrow cave. ‘The search came up with nothing. Again! I can’t take this anymore.’

She removed her glasses and rubbed her face whilst once again releasing a long heavy sigh, showing Oliver just how tired his partner was. He walked over to her and held out his hand. 

‘Come on.’ He whispered his voice shaking slightly. 

Felicity raised her head to look him in the eye, confused by his behaviour. Sure they hadn’t really had a chance to discuss things with everything that’s been going on lately, but this, this was new. He hadn’t willingly touched her for weeks. And she wasn’t sure she could take it. But the look in his eyes right now is what convinced her, because for once in the entire time she had known him, Oliver Queen, looked scared. 

‘Where are we going?’ She asked as she placed her hand in his and stood up. 

‘Well, I have 12 hours until the league come for me, and we both know that I don’t have what they want, and that we won’t be able to get what they want in that time. So I figured, I’m going to spend my time wisely.’ 

‘And how is that?’ she was hesitant to ask. 

‘Enjoying a burger with you for potentially the last time.’ He meant it somewhat jokingly but his voice broke halfway through, filling his words with emotion that neither of them wanted to address right now.

‘Oliver, don’t even try to joke about this.’ His words affecting her just as much as they shook him. Both of them finally realising the situation that they were in. In 12 hours everything would be different. Not knowing what was going to happen, that was far worse than anything she had ever experienced.   
‘Let’s go eat, Felicity.’ They walked the rest of the way to Big Belly Burger. The next couple of hours past in a blur for the two of them. Forgetting about everything that had changed between them in the last few weeks and just enjoying each others company like they did before the date. 

‘You know… I’m pretty sure that I have a spare tub of mint choc chip sitting in my freezer and a netflix account that hasn’t been used in a really long time,’ She offered, not wanting this truce that they had entered to end, and wanting to forget about the impending doom that was coming for them. 

‘Lead the way.’ 

The walk back to her apartment was quiet but not uncomfortable, each of them enjoying the peaceful night, with no responsibilities and great company. Opening the door to her apartment, Felicity headed straight for the kitchen where she pulled out the ice cream and spoons and headed straight for the sofa. 

Honestly Oliver didn’t care what film he was currently watching, all he cared about was the woman sat next to him. Halfway through the movie her head had rested on his shoulder, eyes fully fixated on the TV screen, not knowing that this is the most peaceful Oliver had felt since he sat down in that restaurant all those weeks ago. The end credits to rolled down the screen, bringing Oliver back to reality. Knowing that he should leave her, walk away and make sure that she stayed safe. But he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He still had 6 hours left. He was determined to spend as much time with her as possible. 

Looking down at the beautiful blonde he took a few moments just looking at her, wondering how she had happened to come into his life. Selfishly grateful that she had even though it had placed her in enormous amounts of danger countless times. She stirred next to him causing his heart to stop momentarily, not wanting this moment to end. Apparently neither did she as she snuggled closer to him, clearly exhausted from the hours she had worked in the last few days. Working round the clock to come up with any information that could help them. They failed but right now he couldn’t bring himself to feel guilty about that. Because right now he was sat with the woman he loved enjoying a moment of happiness for possible the last time. A moment that he really didn’t want to end. 

The sound of the rain outside brought him back into consciousness not understanding how he had managed to fall asleep, but feeling the most relaxed he had ever felt. His eyes adjusted to the darkness as he realised that Felicity was no longer next to him, he stood instantly and scanned the room, relaxing when he found her in the kitchen, cleaning. 

‘Sorry I didn’t want to wake you, you looked like you needed a few hours sleep.’ 

‘Thank you, Felicity.’ He was thanking her for so much more than the sleep and they both knew it.   
‘You’re welcome, Oliver’ she looked him in the eye letting him know that she understood. 

‘No I mean it, Felicity. Thanks for letting me have these last few hours, even though I really didn’t deserve them. It means everything.’ His voice was so quiet, so vulnerable and it melted her heart. She knew how much he loved her, knew that everything had hurt him just as much as it had her, she wished she could hate him, wished she could move on, but also knew she didn’t truly want to. 

‘Oliver, when are you going to realise?’ She asked, finally gaining the courage to say what she really wanted to. Knowing that it was now or never. 

‘Realise what, Felicity?’ He looked straight into her gorgeous blue eyes, searching them for the answers to all the questions. 

‘That everything I have ever done in my life is my choice.’ Oliver looks away from her, needing a moment to steady himself, waiting for the moment that she leaves for a better life. 

‘That every time I walk through the lair door I’m choosing to be there. That right now, I want to be here. For you. With you. I will always choose you, Oliver.’ He wasn’t expecting those words to leave her mouth. 

‘You want to know why?’ She pauses, taking a few seconds to study his face. Trying to understand what was going through his mind right now. Seeing the subtle nod of his head she continued.

‘Because the man in front of me. He’s a hero. He has saved me in more was than one. You gave me a life outside of that cubicle Oliver. Gave me a reason to go to work. Gave me a purpose. To help save the city. You’re inspirational to everyone in this city, Oliver. And you get no credit for it. You let them continue to tear your name down, let them beat you down, when all you do is fight to impossible lengths to save every, single, one of the people in this city.’ She stopped when she saw the tear that had escaped down his face. 

She reached up to wipe his tears away, placing one hand over his heart and one on his cheek, causing him to close his eyes and lean in to her. They stayed stood in the doorway to her kitchen, just focusing on the comfort of each other. But Felicity wasn’t done. 

‘Oliver Jonas Queen.’ She said in a voice that he had never heard from her before, so soft, caressing his name in a way that no one had ever expressed towards him. Not even his parents. He opened his eyes, blue meeting blue, tears falling freely from both of them. 

‘I love you.’ She whispered. 

She felt his heart stutter, mirroring her own, for she hadn’t uttered those three words since seeing Cooper in prison. All she knew was that she couldn’t let Oliver leave before she told him how she felt. He needed to know for sure that she had chosen him. Always.

‘Felicity’ No one had ever said her name like that. Like a prayer. Like she was the only thing precious in the world. For once she might have actually believed that she was someone worthy of that kind of love. For now she realised that Oliver had always said her name like that. Even in the beginning, the way he spoke to her, there was always something different, and now, standing with her hand on his heart, she knew what it was. It was love. 

‘I need to go. I can’t let Ra’s come anywhere near you.’ He was still crying but his voice was stronger, he wasn’t shaking anymore. He knew why. Because no matter what happened to him now, she had freed him, her love, had cured him, just like Cupid said. Love was the Cure, and he couldn’t believe he hadn’t realised until now. All the time they could have had together, but now all they got was this night, these last few moments. 

‘I know.’ She said, just as strong, no longer carrying the weight of unsaid words on her shoulders. She raised herself up onto her tiptoes and kissed him. Needing to just one last time.

He didn’t hesitate, the moment her lips touched his, he wound his arms around her, pulling her as close as possible, needing the moment to last as long as possible. Both trying to convey just how much this moment meant to them, pouring every emotion into the kiss. Neither wanting to admit that it could possible be the last time they ever see each other. The need for air pulled them apart, but Oliver didn’t let her leave him embrace. Instead he wrapped his arms around her waist and held her tighter, letting his chin rest on her head that was leant against his chest, her ear pressed over his heart where is bratva tattoo lay. 

‘Felicity, I need you to promise me something.’ 

‘That depends on what you want me to promise.’ she responded, he should have known she wouldn’t make this easy on him. 

‘I need you to promise that you will carry on with your life. Be happy, do everything you ever dreamed of doing, don’t let the life I led you into stop you from moving on. Don’t hold on to me. I’m a lost cause.’ With that he kissed the top of her head and moved towards her front door. 

‘Oliver, don’t ask me not to love you.’ 

‘I will love you forever Felicity Meghan Smoak. But we both know. I won’t be coming back from this.’ He held eye contact until the door shut behind him. A loud sob escaping him as soon as it clicked shut. He heard her matching cry just inside the door, and faintly heard her reply.

‘I can’t promise you that, Oliver. I can’t move on from you.’ 

Tearing his heart apart, he forced himself to step away from her door. He made it to the end of the pathway before he turned back to look at her apartment once more. 

‘I love you.’ He whispered into the night air, the street was empty, he didn’t question it, for now he was just a broken shell of his former self, leaving his heart with the brightest light he had ever known, he continued walking forward into the darkness.


End file.
